Unveiling by Shirin Neshat

by Beth

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” ― Ambrose Redmoon

The words courage and bravery are often used interchangeably but there is a difference between their meaning and how they may play out in your life. Bravery is defined as the ability to confront pain or danger, or to fend off attempts of intimidation without fear.

Courage, on the other hand, is thought of as the strength needed to confront pain or danger, to fend off attempts of intimidation, or to face challenges in spite of fear. It involves psychological or moral courage, such as taking unpopular actions, like standing up to a school bully or reporting and following through with a sexual assault charge and facing the backlash, like so many #MeToo victims are doing. Courage is facing rather than avoiding something that frightens you. The women and men demonstrating against the authoritarian regime in Iran for women’s rights is modern day courage plain and simple.

Maybe toggling between the words bravery and courage sounds like splitting hairs but if you are naturally brave by instinct or nature you can stop reading here. If, like most of us, you do experience fear it helps to understand ways to manage it before moving forward.

Perhaps you want to start a podcast, a blog, or a business, or expand one you’ve already created. Maybe you’re dealing with a family crisis or a difficult personal one. Maybe you want to run for a local or statewide political office—this will require massive amounts of courage in today’s world! In all cases, you will most likely have to dance with fear first.

Fear is the challenge we overcome in order to be courageous. Fear is an uncomfortable emotion or inner alarm that results from something we recognize, resist, or perceive as a danger or a threat. It is a strong emotion with many shades such as:

  • Insecurity: A feeling of being disoriented, not confident, or uneasy.
  • Anxiety: Worrying that something bad, unpleasant, or stressful will happen.
  • Alarm: Discomfort about something recognized or perceived as a danger or threat.
  • Panic: A strong sense of fright, horror, terror, or trepidation.
  • Dread: Extreme anxiety in the face of a perceived or real threat.

Fear can be real or perceived. Fear sharpens the senses to danger while preparing the body for fight or flight. It’s a call to action. To be authentic, you will need to be clear about what you fear and be able to define the difference between the two.

If you fear being mugged, physically assaulted, or getting lost in a storm on Mt. Everest, the danger and threat are recognized as very real. If the danger is not real, it’s perceived. Anodea Judith, in her book Creating on Purpose describes perceived fear as a False Event Appearing Real (F. E. A. R.).

A personal example of a perceived fear relates to my attachment to financial security. For years, despite working hard and saving money ‘for a rainy day’ as I had been taught by the women in my family, I retained a constant fear of being broke, destitute, and helpless. Only when I realized how unlikely that perceived fear was could I let it go. At the same time, I understood that it could happen but if it did it would be caused by something outside of my control. I am still in process of becoming a courageous self-aware person on all fronts because a courageous self-aware person:

  • Knows the difference between real and perceived fear.
  • Understands what real fear feels like through all of their five layers (see The Koshas).
  • Consciously chooses to take skillful action and move forward despite fear because the goal or cause is important enough to make the effort.

You can use the tools and techniques of yoga, self-awareness, and personal growth to recognize perceived fear, confront real fear, and move beyond fear to take skillful action. Try sharpening your witnessing skills. Witnessing is a yogic way to be fully present and see clearly what is happening within and around you in the present moment. Regardless of who you are, where you live, or your current state of being, your ability to witness, observe, and be aware of what is happening in the moment enables you to respond appropriately in authentic, balanced, and courageous ways. This is true whether you are dealing with issues in your body, your breath/energy, your mind, or an external situation you are facing.

Of course, one of the best ways to develop the ability to witness is to practice.

And one of the first witnessing practices to learn is awareness of your breathing. Breath is seen as a key connector between what is happening in the body, what is going on in the mind, and how you react or respond to external events.

When you find yourself in a tricky or difficult situation needing your immediate attention, you may not be able to go for a walk, lay out your yoga mat, or whip out a meditation cushion to release stress from your body and calm your mind. However, you will be able to tune into your breath, take stock of the situation, and understand clearly what is going on before taking action.

Here is one way to practice witnessing the breath and one ‘on the spot remedy’ of balancing your breath for addressing stressful situations.

Witness Your Breathing

To begin, bring your attention to the rising and falling of breath in your body. Can you feel your:

  • Chest rising on your inhalation and falling on your exhalation?
  • Whether your breathing rapid and shallow or slow and deep? (Breathing that is rapid and shallow is often a sign of stress in the body/mind.)

Can you feel your:

  • Belly expanding on your inhalation and retracting on your exhalation?
  • Whether you sense your breath only in your chest? (Rapid and shallow breathing centered in the chest is often a sign of stress.)

If you observe that your breathing is rapid or shallow or you sense your breath only in your chest, you may want to try Balance Breathing in the moment to help your slow and deepen your breath, calm your mind, and prepare your body to respond appropriately to what you are facing.

Balance Your Breath

  1. Sit or stand comfortably.
  2. Breathe through your nose.
  3. Inhale to your own personal four-count saying silently to yourself, “Inhale, two, three, four.”
  4. Exhale saying silently to yourself, “Exhale, two, three, four.”
  5. Repeat and continue for 2-3 minutes or longer if you are comfortable.

It helps to practice this technique when you are not feeling stressed or fearful so it will be a top-of-mind technique to use when you are feeling fearful or stressed and need to be courageous whether you’re facing a scary real situation or False Event Appearing Real.

 

Beth’s self-awareness newsletter is published six times a year. It features informative, inspiring and entertaining tips for finding clarity, contentment, and resilience in a complicated world. For more information and to sign up for the newsletter go to www.bethgibbs.com.

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